Reflections of A Black Christian Woman

 1. This year I've learnt you can experience joy and sadness at the same time, you can look forward to moments of joy while feeling overwhelmed. You can be with loved ones and still miss other people dearly and that's perfectly fine. That's just how things are: season can occur concurrently. 2. Marriage has taught me: your partner will never be your everything. Though s/he contributes positively to your life, you still need other folks because each person adds such a beautiful experience in your life. My hubby's my best friend, but I need to be watered by other people too.  3. Grief occurs even when reflecting on how certain relationships have changed over the years. Or needing to start a new journey, while leaving your old life.   4. The ministry of serving others is the highest form of ministry. 5. Needing help from others will always be part of life. No man is an island and we all need others in various forms. 6. Take time to spend alone. It's good for your healt

1. Grateful for so much; but especially to have a Saviour who watches over me and who is not caught offguard by circumstances in my life. 2. Lost my cellphone with all my info and dear friends' contacts; but somehow I'm at peace. Thankfully, God blessed me with two cellphones. So, atleast I can navigate life and reach people. It's also felt like a pause - a needful one. Looking forward to recover my friend's contacts! I know Soso will rebuke me for all these numbers. 3. I'm grateful to be going to church with my husband 😍. It's truly a blessing. There's been Sabbaths I'd miss him immensely while we were courting and so it means a lot to have him around. 4. I'm grateful for the gift of marriage - having a friend you share life experiences with and the most intimate parts of your life with, is such a beautiful experience. Having someone to do tasks with, build a home with and so much more, is so nice. Setting up a home has been such a wonderful experi

19. Relationships with other people will often include misunderstanding and disagreements, but that doesn't mean we should give up. Sometimes folks  will make assumptions about us and will even seek to sabotage us, but God will see us through. God sees and often interferes. Human relations do hurt, more especially when you sacrifice so much and your motives are misunderstood. Through all of this, we should continue to pursue them for the good of mankind. Human connections require wisdom, grace and discretion from above. If we don't allow the Holy Spirit to guide us, we are in danger of seeking to deal with those who hurt us with revenge. But when we surrender to Holy Spirit we are able to return hate with kindness, sabotage with patience and misunderstanding with grace. Ours is to guard our hearts as we navigate these connections. And remember to deal with others, with the same grace God gives us. 20. Comparison is a thief of joy. We often picture  a certain path for our lives,

Join me as I continue to countdown to 30. 10. God knows our abilities and He's one person we can ask to reveal these and position us so that we can use our skills to benefit others. When we say yes to minister, our talents become clearer to us. If you find yourself in a space where you feel unclear, keep serving those nearest to you and as you continue you'll know. 11. Ask God to guard your heart. I now realize, God is an author of love and when we ask him to guide us, it saves us from a lot of heartache. I love how my fiance often tells me: I prayed and fasted for you. It speaks of the intentionality. And just watching how our courtship unfolded has been an answer to my request to God. Let God do the choosing! He knows beyond and sees beyond what we see.  This guarding of our hearts also includes choices we make in other areas. We also need protection from ourselves! 12. Do not let society define the trajectory you should take. God's ways have proved the best i

In 13 days' time, I'll turn 30. And this makes me so happy. This is a special age, and carries significance in my life as I enter a new joy and journey. But I see it noteworthy, to take a pause and reflect on the past years of adulthood. 1. This life journey requires humility. It's not my place to seek to dictate how others should live. And it's important to respect their views and give them freedom to be.    I pray I never carry the idea that I've arrived and things can only be right because I'm doing them. Rubbing my experience on others is not something I ever want to do. I've seen how older women do this and make you feel inadequate. Or this group that  always find something flawed when they are not in the programme or aren't sought for. What a mean approach to life. Basically, I'm saying life isn't black and white; there are many intricacies and realities of life that forge each person's experience. Mine is to walk humbly. An

(Learning so much through these ones.)  Today the little one had an accident: peed and pooped on herself. When I arrived she was so quiet and had a worried look. I checked and realized she was wet and as I continued, I realized it's a mess. My former self would have gotten nauseous and called for my mom. But through God's grace I affirmed her and told her  that everything is okay (told her I loved her and kissed her). I bathed her, mom gave me clean clothes for her. I then washed the soiled clothes. Then put her on my back. In fact, after I cleaned her up: she was back to her cheerful self. And honestly, this is the grace I want to extend to every child.  My dad tried shouting her and I quickly shut him off. My dad has always responded in anger in moments that needed patience and unfortunately he continues to this day. My dad really has no sympathy for another person. But I don't want this post to be about him. I just want us to be conscious regarding how we res

I came across an interesting video on Instagram and it came exactly when my colleague and I were talking about a familiar topic. The lady mentioned how we'd punish a child if s/he breaks something yet be kind to a stranger who does the same in our home. She mentioned how if, someone was crying we'd comfort them yet with kids, we often want them to quickly stop crying. We even say to boys: a man doesn't cry which dehumanizes them and happens to be a false claim. And I've realized, we even raise our voices to them yet we would never shout adults if we have a misunderstanding. What an eye-opener. I personally took a decision when I started teaching that I'd not shout at kids for spilling water, paint or any mishap so they can learn from mistakes and know they are part of the learning journey. I don't like to shout. But I've had days where I'd find my voice at a higher pitch because I've been telling student X for five times to stop doing something bad o

I have realized, for some people, success means bruising others along the way. It means pushing others to support our initiatives, then folding our arms and not putting any effort when others need support. This sounds like the survival of the fittest theory. But this doesn't work in Christianity because we are counseled to not do anything for our  own good. I'm also learning people aren't always honest, for the sake of buying face. People will agree with a particular decision and then go around complaining. That's not it. This life requires us to be truthful - even if it means opposition. Personally, I'm in a space when I need to be honest with those around me. I speak when I see someone is being teared down. I cannot keep silent. I believe WHOLEHEARTEDLY in supporting others-especially when you are stepping off a particular position. Life is not a competition. If it means supporting a leader to the point of them serving more excellently through prayer, resources an

Haha, I know I'm late but it's still early days. Well, April has been busy. It opened with us spending the Sabbath with my two nieces, whom we haven't seen for over six months and my nephew going to church for the first time.  This week also meant taking care of 3 kiddies: 4 y.o niece, 2 y.o niece and a 10 months old busy boy. In retrospect I've really loved the experience (even though nappy change is my least favourite task 😂). I've gotten tolerant though and I really thank God. God has placed my need to pray more for others and extend the journey to others: So Prayer Connects has been founded and through God's grace, we'll continue till the end of the year.  Overall, I'm thankful. I  had an amazing Sabbath - blessed by the music, message and fellowship.  (The culprit whose responsible for my changing nappies 😉)

 The first term was quite something - challenging and exhausting. Work really took its toll on me. I've had to go to work even on Sunday to submit my plans because during the week, it'd get really hectic. I'd even be drowsy at church as I wasn't getting enough rest; and having to teach on Sabbath too was overwhelming me - but mostly being  a Children's Ministry Co-ordinator. It just dawned me that I wasn't going to manage because I have a lot on my plate this year. So after prayerful consideration, I decided to step down from the post. And its felt refreshing to not have classes morning and afternoon and head a department. The pastor suggested I get an assistant but I refused. Another reason for stepping down was my burden to for doing house visits. It honestly felt like I was stuck at church. Plus that's the only opening I have. Thankfully, we've manage to do about 4 house visits. Thankfully God has made a lee way. I now play the role of an assistant an

 Reflection Questions: 1.What has the previous month taught you? a) You lose nothing by suppprting another person's initiative, even if you won't be mentioned. As long as someone's life is changed for a greater good.  b) You'll find what you are looking for: if you're constantly looking for faults in others, you'll always find them. Rather, choose to see at least one positive trait in others on a daily basis.  c) We can be transformed only as we consistently spend time with God. 4) If it's in your power, open doors for others. This can be applied in every facet of life. For example: when I was doing my first year, there was a sister who was in charge of Sabbath School and she chose me often to do Sabbath School. It felt like torture, I'd shake and would be anxious the whole week. But those very tasks prepared me for even greater tasks. Now that I'm also in a space to advise, I always request for teenagers to do the Sabbath School and the children'

 Over the years my understanding of the term excellence has changed. Excellence was often limited to the academic space since I was a student, but I've realised over and over again it extends to every area and mostly to the seemingly little things. To me, excellence means I write in full when speaking to someone via WhatsApp because I have the skill of writing. It also means I need to read a text before sending it (though I've recently started doing this). Excellence means as a teacher in church, I take a sincere interest in each child - I try to see if they are able to grasp a concept I'm trying to teach and when I see a child lose interest, I try to see how I can draw them back to listen, aware that they might not even be familiar with my way of teaching and there might be environmental factors. Excellence  also means a taxi driver is mindful of the passengers - he drivers cautiously because the passenger's life is in his hands, so he won't text / answer calls; no