Reflections of A Black Christian Woman

March was probably the hardest month. I found myself having to partake in something that I wasn't settled about - being dressed as a Makoti. I've always known I wanted to stay clear of cultural practices that might lead me to compromise my walk with God like having to worship the dead or having alcohol in the ceremony. So, when I was going to get married I had asked my husband to explain to his family that I don't believe in wearing the makoti regalia as I didn't know it's meaning and when I researched, I realised it was a product of colonialism that was adopted by the black people and his family agreed I'd dress modestly and have a small ceremony to welcome me. And so the first disappointment came when that was later changed and I was informed I had to dress as a Makoti. Then, the ceremony was no longer going to be for few family members and my family; instead it was an event of 120 people. The folks from my husband's home church felt sad that they didn'

Today marks the last day as a Makoti on duty. What a journey for the introvert me 😀. I was really nervous about it and hesitant too. Would my mother-in-law (MamaZala) like me? Will she enjoy the meals I was going to prepare? Were we going to hit it off? Thankfully, my MamaZala is a sweetheart and there weren't so many expectations. I was told to not wake up early as she rises early and I was encouraged to rest. I was responsible for breakfast and supper. And I must commend my husband for holding my hand throughout the journey: we'd prepare breakfast together initially and cook some Sabbath meals and thankfully, MamaZala really enjoyed it all 🙌 and as I cooked, I had more ideas for meals and I did meal preps alone. Thankful for acceptance and love. We also enjoyed devotion time. My husband and I would take turns on sharing the Word. We'd sing a few hymns and uMamaZala would join in. It was lovely to only have us three so that I wouldn't be overwhelmed. I appreciated th

Prior marriage, I honestly had my fears: how will living with a man be like, will I be able to freely express my desires, will he like my cooking? Will I still be able to maintain personal time and devotion?How will copulation be? Will it hurt? Will there be affection?All these questions would come to my mind from time to time, as I had never witnessed a healthy marriage where God was honoured. I had only observed bits and pieces from others and couldn't get the full picture; though there are healthy marriages. Thankfully, we can always "cast our cares to God", including our fears that keep us awake at night (1 Peter 5:7) and God promises to be with us through the fears (Isaiah 41:10). These fears  alo include a change in trajectory - whether it's leaving home, a change in career, getting married or any change we might face. My husband and I spoke about some of these fears prior marriage but our comfort has always been that God will continue guiding us as

 1. This year I've learnt you can experience joy and sadness at the same time, you can look forward to moments of joy while feeling overwhelmed. You can be with loved ones and still miss other people dearly and that's perfectly fine. That's just how things are: season can occur concurrently. 2. Marriage has taught me: your partner will never be your everything. Though s/he contributes positively to your life, you still need other folks because each person adds such a beautiful experience in your life. My hubby's my best friend, but I need to be watered by other people too.  3. Grief occurs even when reflecting on how certain relationships have changed over the years. Or needing to start a new journey, while leaving your old life.   4. The ministry of serving others is the highest form of ministry. 5. Needing help from others will always be part of life. No man is an island and we all need others in various forms. 6. Take time to spend alone. It's good for your healt

1. Grateful for so much; but especially to have a Saviour who watches over me and who is not caught offguard by circumstances in my life. 2. Lost my cellphone with all my info and dear friends' contacts; but somehow I'm at peace. Thankfully, God blessed me with two cellphones. So, atleast I can navigate life and reach people. It's also felt like a pause - a needful one. Looking forward to recover my friend's contacts! I know Soso will rebuke me for all these numbers. 3. I'm grateful to be going to church with my husband 😍. It's truly a blessing. There's been Sabbaths I'd miss him immensely while we were courting and so it means a lot to have him around. 4. I'm grateful for the gift of marriage - having a friend you share life experiences with and the most intimate parts of your life with, is such a beautiful experience. Having someone to do tasks with, build a home with and so much more, is so nice. Setting up a home has been such a wonderful experi

19. Relationships with other people will often include misunderstanding and disagreements, but that doesn't mean we should give up. Sometimes folks  will make assumptions about us and will even seek to sabotage us, but God will see us through. God sees and often interferes. Human relations do hurt, more especially when you sacrifice so much and your motives are misunderstood. Through all of this, we should continue to pursue them for the good of mankind. Human connections require wisdom, grace and discretion from above. If we don't allow the Holy Spirit to guide us, we are in danger of seeking to deal with those who hurt us with revenge. But when we surrender to Holy Spirit we are able to return hate with kindness, sabotage with patience and misunderstanding with grace. Ours is to guard our hearts as we navigate these connections. And remember to deal with others, with the same grace God gives us. 20. Comparison is a thief of joy. We often picture  a certain path for our lives,