Reflections of A Black Christian Woman

I'm struggling to deal with "constructive criticism" lately from person X. It's the manner in which X does it - condescending and a constant reminder that X is experienced and superior.  Why address the negatives with the need to remind me I'm not in the same calibre. It's discouraging and if I had resources I'd quit. It's  the domineering attitude, not being mindful that we get tired and we have lives. It's tough. I've been avoiding to cry. I was sharing this with my partner and poor thing doesn't understand how extreme it gets. I've been praying for X for almost four years and I  don't think it's fair to dread my days because of X. It's mostly the attitude that X knows everything, X is perfect and X  doesn't err.  I am tired.  It's as if X finds joy in breaking you down. I hope my future doesn't feature X. I sense something off but time will tell.

 I'm thankful for today. Today was amazing. I love how my learners and I got talking and it just opened a space for so much more. More understanding and sympathy. We were doing revision for the last term test and as I was asking questions, I was amazed like always, by how smart kids are; particularly mine 😍🤣. Of course I'm biased. The other thing that really stood out for me is how kids can be deep thinkers (not think on the surface). I posed a question regarding how we can make others happy and there were so many wonderful answers but one that stood out for me, is giving hope to others. I really love that. We've gone through so much for the past years  and we are required to show up  without even having enough time to grieve or process things. There's so much life demands that it feels like we're  breathless or playing catch-up. I also asked the kids what makes them sad: the answers included being shouted, laughed at and one boy mentioned how sad he was when he l

Spending time with children. They are so refreshing to the soul.  Singing, praying and learning the Word makes me SO happy. I see the  prayer I made after the Hartenbos experience  being answered with each experience.  I am learning to love, to laugh off mistakes, to find joy in situations. It feels so freeing.   Children have   enabled me the freedom to be myself.