Reflections of A Black Christian Woman

 As I reflect, I realize that at every stage of our lives there is waiting. Simply put, we go through the waiting process everyday. Some seasons of waiting are short-lived and due to that, we may not feel the weight that comes with waiting; this could be waiting on water to boil or waiting for a browser while it's refreshing. But some seasons of waiting can be elongated and they may bring anxiety, excitement, doubt or if we are not firm in our walk with Christ, we might be led to compromise.  This waiting could include waiting for exam results, a good job offer, a child, a recovery from sickness or overcoming a particular habit. You may be in a season of waiting, like myself, and it may seem like your livelihood depends on what you are waiting for. You may see those around you getting blessed with the very thing you desire; you may be tempted to think God favours a few. But be comforted in these thoughts: -God is too wise too err - His timing is not affected by miscalculations  -Go

 I believe in the power of personal testimonies wholeheartedly. They are a way of strengthening each other in this life journey. 1. Today I was reflecting. This time last year I lost my colleague. She left the faith and joined spiritualism. My heart was so broken because I had grown to love her. She was the one who welcomed me and guided me in my work. She had become a sister and she was still new in the faith. After a series of unfortunate events in her life in year 2020, she decided to leave the faith and eventually leave work as her new found faith was not in congruence with the school mission and vision. I still mourn her loss. This meant we didn't have a replacement for some time. A teacher came and left due to unforeseen events. This really left me uncertain as the work was weighing on me. And as we continued praying for a teacher who'd fit in the puzzle, we had to wait a while. But a month later, God answered. I've found so much more. I've found an older sister,

 I came across a video on YouTube that talks about trauma that emanates from having strict parents. And I just found myself thinking about how I was being bullied by an elderly lady who was constantly making comments about my body and how big my boobs were. I was thirteen at the time and I don't think I was able to confide in my mother. I'd complain about my weight and she'd tell me there's nothing wrong, but I feel like I wanted more from her. I remember her coming across an article I had written about this experience and her expressing how she wished I had told her.  My mom is strict and sweet. I've always struggled to confide in her about other things; mainly due to her response - I feel like she doesn't hear you out. I was scared when I had my first period and my brother went to talk to her on my behalf. And I remember my colleague expressing her fear in telling her mom as she'd think she slept with a boy. I just dislike how certain conversations are off

My story is a story of grace and when I look back, I see how God's hand has always been in my journey, guiding me throughout.  There's so much God has delivered me from. But I'm particularly thankful for these ones : God has delivered me from bitterness which was rooted in my relationship with my dad. It got to a point where I didn't want to see him again. But I'm grateful that I can acknowledge the disappointments without feeling hatred towards him. I'm thankful that I've been able to have positive bonds with some males in my life (my employer's husband feels more like a dad to me and another elderly man who became a family friend). In 2017, my spirituality took a hard knock. I was depressed, had no reason to live for (so I thought!). I had failed again at my desire to make something out  of my life and just felt disappointed. I compromised my principles and at some point, compromised my worth because I valued other people's opinions so much. And I