Thursday Testimonies

My story is a story of grace and when I look back, I see how God's hand has always been in my journey, guiding me throughout. 

There's so much God has delivered me from. But I'm particularly thankful for these ones :

God has delivered me from bitterness which was rooted in my relationship with my dad. It got to a point where I didn't want to see him again. But I'm grateful that I can acknowledge the disappointments without feeling hatred towards him. I'm thankful that I've been able to have positive bonds with some males in my life (my employer's husband feels more like a dad to me and another elderly man who became a family friend).

In 2017, my spirituality took a hard knock. I was depressed, had no reason to live for (so I thought!). I had failed again at my desire to make something out  of my life and just felt disappointed. I compromised my principles and at some point, compromised my worth because I valued other people's opinions so much. And I was really in a dark space. I'd just pray without expressing my words. I just wanted direction with my life. I had no belief in my capabilities and what I could be. I was down and out. But God took me on a journey of healing and placed me in a space where I can grow through the work I'm now doing.

God helped me to regain my self-worth. He opened so many doors to serve Him that I was and I'm still in awe of all He has done for me.

I'm also thankful that I don't think of myself as undeserving of good things. Sometimes we can say things that are hurtful and make others think they aren't worthy to be loved. We sometimes weigh what others should get, but thankfully we don't get to decide. I remember a sister blatantly telling me I wasn't deserving of my courtship partner and told me sister 'so and so' would be a better match. Thankfully I react slow, when this was said I was just hurt and didn't know what to say. And as time progressed that really left scars and I believed the lie. We often see from the outside, but God sees on the inside and knows best. I'm thankful to know that I too am worthy to be loved right, honoured and respected. And this isn't necessary about romantic relationships but in general. I believe without a doubt we are all worthy of wholesome love and wholesome relationships (I think some of our fears often stems here - that we'd never get spouses who honour us because we aren't enough; but I've learnt that God's gifts aren't deserved.  He bestows them still.

I'm glad God has removed fear - fear of making mistakes, voicing my opinions (I self-doubt always but I'm learning not to), trying new things and so much more. 

Here's praying for God's power to be witnessed in our lives.