Thankful Sunday: Grateful for a Father who is invested in my development

 If there's one thing about God that continues to amaze me, is how invested He is in molding our characters in His likeness. He will stop at nothing to consistently provide us with opportunities to overcome sin and character flaws, while granting us with all the strength and knowledge we need.

The work I do in the Christian school I'm part of is challenging to the utmost. And what makes it more challenging is that I'm a sinner dealing with other sinners. So, I'm in constant need of God's grace and guidance (like we all are). In my case, I'm dealing with young minds and so they are impressionable. And that means I can do the greatest good or the greatest harm. It also means I'm tested severely, patient-wise (a glimpse of how I also test God's long-suffering). And at times, I might react unwise (and these are sins I have to confess and ask forgiveness to God and the children). Working with children exposes you to your evil heart more than anything and issues you need to deal with or heal from.

I've always taught children one way or another. But I'd be overwhelmed by forming attachments with them or just overwhelmed by affection. I struggle with saying I love you generally and so, I fumble something when a child says it or my employer. And so working with children has opened my heart and I realize, I need to love more and open my heart more - especially when a child disobeys. What behavior do I model out when a child has erred - that of a tyrant or a loving parent? I've also had to question the correct form of discipline and the attitude it is administered in. That's what I'll be studying this coming week.

So, today I'm challenged to acknowledge my need of a Savior  and to follow the Teacher's counsels. In times past, I've closed my heart to children for my odd reasons but I realize how sinful that decision has been and how selfish it's been. I now realize I'm a mother and I need to embrace these children as my own. Just this morning, I realized there's so much I need to learn and that means taking time to read more on motherhood and the teacher's role because I've been convicted that some of the methods I use are not right. I'm reading Counsels to Parents, Teachers and Students.

And so God keeps convicting, I keep learning and unlearning. Indeed, sanctification is a work of a lifetime. But without a shadow of doubt I know I'm where I can hear God more and where He can mold me the most. I'm not where my dreams might have led me / where society wants me to be, but I'm definitely where God wants me to be; the safest place to be and that gives me peace. I'm also thankful for the collegues God has blessed me with. I'm learning from them and I'm the youngest. I'm loved and prayed for.

Often I've looked to self and even doubted my capabilities. But I now know, it's not what I can do, but what  God can do through my willing heart. 

" Consecrate me Lord and make me a vessel of honour. Emptied of what I think I know, but filled with your wisdom. May love be the greatest gift I've ever given - in truth and deeds."