1. Prepare as much as you can. Ask all the necessary questions. I personally didn't think in-laws would affect me that much, so I didn't focus on it. I really focused on us building a healthy marriage and preparing to be a wife. I think it's important to discuss expectations, boundaries, the extent of brokenness in the spouse's family and to ask as much as you can. I was personally caught off guard and didn't know the extent or how we needed to come through for my in-laws. And how I'd have to assist because they either didn't know or I'm just wired to figure things out and have a plan of action. Also consider well the family you marry into:
1. 1 What are their values and what informs them?
1.2 Who is God to them?
1.3 What role do cultural practices play in their way of doing things?
1.4 What role does each family member play and what role does your potential spouse play and how will that affect your marriage?
1.5 Are there outstanding duties and is there financial expectations?
1.6 What are their strengths and weaknesses etc?
2. You will need more patience than the ounce you have right now. Wait and see 😂. It's because you've never stayed together and you have different ways of doing things. That's where you see how the other party was raised. Plus you are wired differently.
3. You are more flawed than you think. Different experiences will expose you and you need more grace.
4. You'll gain weight 🤣. Not applicable to everyone. How I went from small to medium is still a mystery to me.
5. You'll need to be more vulnerable and you'll be just fine. Vulnerability deepens the relationship. I know for some of us it's scary, but marriage exposes all of you and there's nothing to hide; but that's where the freedom to be yourself and understanding comes in.
6. God will truly provide, so don't break your head trying to figure every day out before you are even married. I do not want to be interpreted as saying don't count the cost, don't make wise decisions financially, career-wise etc; all I'm trying to say is, leave these cares on God's hand. God provides! Don't trust on what you can do but on how God will continue to take care of you in ways you haven't thought of.
7. There's NOTHING to be nervous about, especially about marriage when you are married to the right person.
8. You'll experience more joy than your mind can comprehend. It's beautiful beyond how you imagine to be!
9. He's the head of the household but you'll need to advise on so many issues and you'll need to head other projects yourself and make sure they happen. So, it's important to realise your hubby can't solve every household problem. You are a great asset more than you think.
10. It's no longer "my" but "our". If you've been financially independent for quite a while, it can be tricky. I worked for 6 years prior getting married. I did what I wanted,when I wanted. If I felt like a cake would do, I bought it - even though I hadn't budgeted for it. If I saw a clothing item I love, I'd just get it. But now I'm learning financial discipline. And I haven't had cake in a bit 😂. I'm grateful because I really wanted to save and we've really done great in that department. I no longer see money as a resource to provide for my needs; but it's also a tool to improve my life skill-wise, helping others etc.
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