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Double standards for raising kids

I came across an interesting video on Instagram and it came exactly when my colleague and I were talking about a familiar topic. The lady mentioned how we'd punish a child if s/he breaks something yet be kind to a stranger who does the same in our home. She mentioned how if, someone was crying we'd comfort them yet with kids, we often want them to quickly stop crying. We even say to boys: a man doesn't cry which dehumanizes them and happens to be a false claim.

And I've realized, we even raise our voices to them yet we would never shout adults if we have a misunderstanding. What an eye-opener. I personally took a decision when I started teaching that I'd not shout at kids for spilling water, paint or any mishap so they can learn from mistakes and know they are part of the learning journey.

I don't like to shout. But I've had days where I'd find my voice at a higher pitch because I've been telling student X for five times to stop doing something bad or to actually do their work. It can be frustrating honestly, but I've realized kids mimick how we deal with them and we must be very careful.

There's one learner who likes shouting at other kids and has explained how the parent does that. So the child is learning that bad behaviour. He likes acting as a victim too. Super scary! There was a boy who'd burst into anger and I later learnt, his mother was like that. 

We really need to remember kids are humans too, with feelings too. They are observing our behaviour and in the end, the very behaviour we are potraying is what they'll potray too. Overall, we need patience and grace; and to remember: we too, were once  kids. And we often yearned for love, grace, patience and so much more. Like we still do, they too need that.

What behaviours do you view as double standards?

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