Reflections of A Black Christian Woman

You know, I've been thinking of the term strict and what it really means. To a certain degree, it's needful; in the sense of giving direction, order and safety. We can all recount how the strictness of our parents saved us from many dangerous paths. But when strictness involves hurtful words which are derogatory in nature, when it involves control and no autonomy, when it means you have to hide certain things because you are scared of the reaction, then it's not what it should be. Child Guidance talks about how parents should befriend their children and how they should encourage openness and be their children's confidants. This will help children to not trust their young friends, who are still lacking in experience and in turn, will save many young people from hurtful experiences or at least give assurance that, regardless of  their choices, they'll still have a safe space in their parents. That space will provide a refuge for crying, venting out and so much more wi

 Few years ago, I agreed to enter into a courtship with my friend 😊 and looking back, I realize how much I've grown and how we've both become better individuals. There are so many lessons, but a few stand out: 1. Continue to maintain a strong relationship with God: that is the strongest foundation for your relationship. Your sense of security and direction is centered on God, not your partner. 2. Ask questions when you don't understand, or you end up assuming. Communicate your expectations, discomforts, fears or whatever you are going through pertaining the relationship. I tend to want to lean inward and seek space ; but in essence this adds no value to the relationship.  3. Pray for your partner. 4. Serve each other. 5. Don't hurry love. Intimacy takes time. Friendship takes time. Don't panic. You will eventually get to a place where you are friends and in sync with each other. It takes time, trust, vulnerability and intention. 6. Don't discuss you