Skip to main content

Scattered Thoughts on a Tuesday

 I've been thinking a bit about the implications of being in a relationship.

Does a relationship simply include the two of you? Does the world stop existing? Is it draining? One thing I can say is, I no longer view being in a relationship the same way I did years ago. Reading novels made me think being in a relationship means you exist purely for the other person - your dreams, your hobbies and other relationships take a backseat, but I've realized being in a relationship somehow brings you closer to yourself - what I mean by that is how a relationship exposes you (flaws, likes, the way you solve conflict, insecurities etc.). Being in a relationship doesn't make you stop existing on an individual level. You still find joy in doing the things that matter to you, you get to experience the realities of life but the difference is, you have someone in your corner who is there to support, counsel, pray with and vent to.

Being in a relationship also means respecting where the other person comes from and realizing they are not solely existing for you but they exist to minister to so many people. This means you need to respect relationships they've had before your relationship. I often see how a son will suddenly be less present when a girlfriend is in his life, but I don't think it ought to be so. I think all the relationships should be allowed to synonymously exist. Before my twin met his girlfriend, we were quite close, but as their relationship progressed ours eventually died, and we began to see less of him, while he was always with her. I must say, at first, I felt he was lucky. But I now know this isn't a positive trait - I'm not saying spending quality time with your partner is bad but once the relationship becomes a priority so much that you cannot exist in other roles, it's a red flag.

I've also learnt that we need to respect our partner's journeys and embrace them because we do not come from the same background - not everyone comes from a well off background. And this needs us to be considerate. Let's say your partner recently started working and he has no decent clothes for going to work. I'd assume that as a caring girlfriend, you'd encourage your partner to buy clothes and work on being in a better place financially, instead of spending half of his salary on you. I've learnt that being in a relationship means encouraging your partner to choose themselves for a change - allowing your partner to make choices that make them happy and proud of how far they have come.

It's sad to see people break because of relationships. I don't think love should be frustrating nor should it cost you your mental health. As much as relationships are work, it should be motivated by love and the desire to serve the next person - not fear. I pray we will hold each other's hearts gently and not only in male/female relationships; but in our friendships, sibling relationships and parent-child relationships. It's easy to take people for granted - but I've learnt we need to treasure each person who features in our life and be vocal about how much they mean to us.

These are just my scattered thoughts, not quite structured but on my heart. Overall, I'm praying for healing. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Thankful Thursday: an answered prayer

 Hey reader, I trust you are well. Let me start by welcoming you in my space. I hope you'll find it to be a safe space. So, I feel like this past month I've been struggling to breathe - so much workload. Anyway, that's always the case. But there's pressure to improve and do your best. I'm still a facilitator for grade 1 - grade 3 learners . So far I have 3 new learners. Two are in grade 2 and one is in grade 1. Two can't write much nor speak English. My biggest challenge has been the grade 1 learner who'd cry when she had to write. I requested for her report card and let's just say it was extremely bad. She didn't meet grade R requirements- hence she can't write, doesn't know alphabets, can't really colour, not familiar with simple words(sight words) like and, is, this etc. Besides being a Christian  school, we emphasize on the three Rs - Reading, Writing and Arithmetic. Our kids write quite a lot. And I commend this - I'll explain in...
4 comments
Read more

Why positive narratives around marriage are important

1. Marriage is beautiful and God created the institution as means of refining character and blessing humanity. 2. Unfortunately, ever since sin entered and selfishness took precedence over our hearts, marriage has taken a knock. From Adam declaring "bone of my bones" to "this woman you gave me", the brokenness continues.  3. Most people have experienced brokenness due to their parent's broken marriages and sometimes this leaves deep wounds which sometimes lead people to conclude that marriage is bad. I was one of those and I had vowed I'd never get married.  4. We're exposed to so many negative marriages that society is slowly becoming immune to true love, often saying, "it will end in tears." 5. Most important of all, it is the most potent witness of God's power to bring light and healing in society.  6. By witnessing healthy marriages, we're encouraged that we too can have God- honouring marriages. Sometimes you even feel ...
3 comments
Read more

THE EFFECTS OF LOCKDOWN ON MY LEARNERS

I've been meaning to write this post for a while now; so I finally had the courage to do it today. So, lockdown hit everyone hard, including schools. I was teaching 30 students and 2 out of that total decided to leave school for fair reasons. I was then left with 28 learners. So, we would prepare study material for each week and we would have about 4 tasks for each learning area - Monday to Thursday. We also put emphasis on reading and availed ourselves for any questions that parents might have. And I know I'd even explain certain concepts for each week so that parents could catch up easily on the work. This meant we were always available online (my colleague and I). Then on Fridays we required proof of the work done to be sent directly to us as the teachers via WhatsApp. I really must say this made me push and give it my best. I really enjoyed working from home, though I knew this meant more kids were not doing their tasks and might miss on grasping the themes. In terms of the...
3 comments
Read more